Why I don't plan on going back to Germany (at the moment)

At the moment, with Uni coming to a close and all of that, so many people ask me if I am going back home to Germany. Um, no.

I think people don't realise how much studying abroad changes you. And I don't mean just a semester abroad but a whole degree. I have been living here for four years- it has been the first place I have stayed for such a long time other than Germany and it feels like my home. The guy from the shop next door knows me too well, I don't even wanna mention my eyebrow lady, I know all the short cuts and bus routes, tourists think you are a local and ask you for directions, you always meet people you know on the street... it doesn't just feel like my home, it truly is.

Germany obviously still feels like home, too: My small home town is the place where I will always know people, where the bank employees recognize me, and I have made lifelong memories here. It feels good to be home once in a while, and it feels special. My mum makes a fuss, everyone I meet is asking me about my plans for my life and you have that weird status of being that cool kid back in town. But I guess that only works if you leave again at one point, and that is fine with me. I also don't have the urge to move to a bigger German city either, because.. there is no one that I fancy living in. I dislike Berlin, Hamburg and Munich are too posh and all the other places... meh, I am not convinced.

I feel out of synch with German culture at times, because I have learned to love Scottish and American culture so much. I love greeting everyone with 'how r u', having nice talks with shop assistants, making friends at the bus stop with random strangers and ordering tap water for free. In my mind, all of these things seem impossible in Germany. It probably really isn't that impossible, but my heart just wouldn't be all there if I moved back to Germany.

And if I have learned one thing, then it is that one: Wherever you go, go with all your heart.

So I guess that's what I'm doing. For now.

And maybe one day, my heart will lead me back to Germany.